every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

a year ago today, i booked a flight to austin at 9am after the worst night (and preceding days) of my life. the flight was at noon. i don't remember much of how i got to the airport, and i just threw a few t-shirts and a pair of shorts in a bag since i had no idea how long i would be there. i just knew i had to leave.

i left behind a life that i had been an active participant in creating, but didn't see myself in anymore. from the outside, it was perfect. the perfect apartment, the perfect pet, the perfect routines, the perfect wedding. but i was miserable. and i left. and it was the hardest thing i have ever (and maybe will ever do).

a year ago today, i made a huge leap into the unknown. i did it for me. some might call it selfish, or flighty, or irresponsible. but all that matters is that i made the right decision for me.

the last year has been a roller coaster. but every single day, my decision has been reaffirmed. there were days when i didn't want to get out of bed, days when i wanted nothing more than to go back to the perfect life i had created, but deep down, i knew it was never perfect. i deserved more.

the most amazing things have happened since april 11, 2010. to say i know myself so much better would be an understatement. i know how to be by myself. i know i have this incredible network of support that stepped up when i didn't have the strength to ask for help.

throughout this year, i've wondered what today would feel like. if i would even survive and make it to this milestone. if i had the strength to not go back just because it was comfortable. and today, i have my answer. i did survive. actually, i did more than survive. i thrived.

and today?

i am happy. really, truly, happy.

and to celebrate, i made cupcakes. and they were delicious.

it's not an anniversary i ever planned on celebrating. but here i am. and that's just how life goes.